Friday November 13, 2015

1. Dog Poo
Really gross, sorry. Really Monday, sorry. So I thought I stepped in dog poop TWICE today on my way to work. And I am usually really on my shit about where I step (pun SO intended). It all began, this fine crispy Monday morning, when I proudly strutted my I’m-leaving-the-building-I’m-going-out-the-front-door-strut with my fingers bent in some decrepit origami shapes like I’ve just scraped out the innards of a pumpkin, balancing three small garbage bags, some old magazines + a few odd bottles to the recycling and garbage pails in the garbage dungeon under my stoop. After releasing the funky bunch into their respected pails, I proceeded to climb back up the cement mountain, whereupon I spotted a fresh poop on the ground, and walked around it. Two Abuelos sitting on chairs and a, “good morning” later, that fresh dog poo stank just like, came right into my scent zone. Did a couple heel-to-butt-checks to investigate, finding nothing on my shoes. So that means, someone had a seriously debaucherous weekend indulging in some human meals allowing said poo fumes to cling onto my tiny nose hairs all the way to the train SO INTENSELY, that I really was second guessing if I had or had not avoided the poop.

2. Shampoo in My Eyeball
Does anyone else when they get shampoo in their eye think, “When was the last time I did THAT?!” And then try to recall when said last time was? I do. And jeezis, did I get one lob of shampoo so seriously in my eyeball last night. It was as if I’d never washed my hair before. Face into the falling water, rubbing my eyeball into stars and spots, I am pretty sure the last time I got shampoo in my eyeball was Hayley Grassetti age 8 in the locker room after swim practice, testing the claimed USP of l’Oreal Kids *tear free* shampoo. So there’s me, washing my hair and deliberately pushing those suds from my mane down my brow to strategically slide into the little crooks of my eyeballs for the sake of proving to my fellow fishes the product’s fault, and to spite that too fun looking commercial and beautiful packaging.

3. Christine + Marina
Saw Marina + The Diamonds and my other current musical obsession opened for her: Christine + The Queens. These two are running shit, and I love everything. I feel so happy, so inspired, so into living that I don’t even know what to do with myself other than live! And love! I feel so wiggly and excited, what do I even do with all this energy!

4. Big Friday Meetings.
Ahhhhhh, make for absolutely the longest week ever, but are the most epic setup to a weekend known to moi. All things tedious and a little stressful are forgiven as 10AM Friday rolls around and there’s a fancy yogurt parfait with my name on it on the craft table outside the conference room. That and a bowl of macerated berries. HELLO! Better than breakfast is the insane lunch that no meeting attendee touches ever. Why?? Don't caaaaare! Ask me how many slices of medium rare steak I had for lunch.

5. Tequila. (related)
The first thing I took to my face after the longest week ever. That’s it. #BYE